Why I read negative reviews – Pt. 4: Her quim quivered, but her pussy just wasn’t feeling it

When I started writing, my books were Christian fantasy. Sex scenes were never a concern because I always imagined an old woman reading the books. Fearing I would squick her out, everything sexy was written fade to black. While I have no doubt there are plenty of frisky old women, they don’t read Christian books for their naughty fixes.

 

Later, I became interested in urban fantasy and it’s expected for there to be a sex scene in each book. So I had to learn to write at least a decent sex scene, but there weren’t the best examples in my favorite series.

 

Mercy and Adam don’t have sex for like fifty books. When they do, Mercy basically says, “Adam knows what he’s doing.” You mean he figured out how to put his dick inside you? Huh, good to know that a guy with a kid understands this concept.

 

Or there was Kate and Curran who waited three books to even kiss. By the time they had sex, it was basically “Me angry and horny. You vagina. Tear dress, licky, licky, fucky, fucky for three seconds, best sex ever!”

 

Those two are still better than poor Alex Craft who endures a sex scene in her first book with Falin that comes down to “I’m drunk and horny and you’re a whore. Let’s do this thing, slut.” Eek!

 

The thing about sex scenes or romance in general is how the writing gives away a lot about the writer. Say the writer is obsessed with long haired guys who wear pirate shirts and Pretty Woman boots. The reader will know this when the writer creates her main squeeze fitting that description.

 

Speaking of Anita, she’s a great example of the two sides of the urban fantasy romance realm. The old Anita fans versus the new ones usually comes down to whether a person wants the sex scenes to be the dressing on the salad or do they want their salad to consist of an old piece of lettuce drowning in a bowl of dressing.

 

LKH gives a lot away about her personal feelings. So did the writer of an infamous anal scene in UF. I read a review complaining about how obvious it was to the reviewer that this author wasn’t comfortable with anal. The sex scene is raw and crazy up until anal is introduced then the passion comes to a screeching halt. There is awkwardness until the anal part is over then they return to hot fucking and it’s all good again. The lesson is maybe we shouldn’t write about behavior we’re not comfortable with. If you feel you must push outside your comfort zone (because fans are always begging for more anal in their UF) then keep it consistent with the characters’ behaviors.

 

If your couple is normally crazy in bed, the anal stuff shouldn’t be slow and careful with concern for cleanliness. Plus, since when did vampires have to worry about vaginal infections? That’s the point, isn’t it? No one should think about those concerns in the scene (not after the concept of puncturing clits is introduced), but the author felt awkward and it showed.

 

Often in reviews, readers complain about the language used.

 

• Cock vs. manhood vs. penis? What do you want coming at you in the dark?
• Her sex vs. her pussy vs. down there? To be honest, they all sound stupid.
• Fucking vs. making love vs. came together as one? Does it count as naughty that the last one uses the word came?

 

No reader is the same. Some need the down and dirty version. Others don’t want to be mentally scarred by the visuals you create of two freaks humping. If you write “thrusted inside her,” some readers will want you to explain just what part of him is inside her. Others will beg you to never speak of it again while they storm off for a shower. It’s important to understand your audience and their possible reactions.

 

The word fuck is tricky. One review I read complained about a particular couple who finally got together after five books. The guy looks at the girl and basically says, “I need to fuck you.” Be still my heart, right? Now I know this guy would never say, “I need to make sweet sweet love to you because I’m a cuddle bunny who needs sugar from my favorite girl.” It’s not him, but if he had said, “I need you” and fucking was implied, it might have felt more romantic without becoming sappy. Again, it’s a fine balance between the writer’s vision and the desires of her readers.

 

Then there’s anatomy. I read a review of a book by a popular romance writer. This author specializes in the “huge guy hung like a bear and his tiny blonde woman” stories. There is always quite a bit of detail about how large the men are. Hell, their balls alone could flatten a double-decker bus! These guys are just that gifuckingnormous!

 

In the review, it was pointed out how the giant dick was able to thrust completely into the wee virgin. Uh, how exactly is that possible if the guy’s dick is basically the size of the chick’s torso? Did his huge cock tickle her tonsils?

 

Lesson? Be careful with sizes. The same scene could have simply said he shoved his cathedral sized dong into her itty bitty magpie and she was super happy even though I’d assume it would actually frigging hurt. Yet, add the detail about being balls deep inside and suddenly the reader is forced to wonder how deep a woman actually is?

 

Last time I checked, the average woman’s vagina isn’t a bottomless pit. While nasty things happen in porn to claim otherwise, few women can park an SUV inside their bodies. A reader should never wonder about such things while reading a sex scene. This reviewer was so offended by the writer’s lack of knowledge of the female body (and likely horrified from imagining a mighty oak tearing into something the size of a change purse) that she stopped reading the book. Lesson learned - sometimes less info really is more.

 

The goal when writing is for the reader to never feel you maneuvering them. They should dissolve into the story and forget how someone created everything. Yet, sometimes a sex scene will yank a reader out of a book and make them wonder weird stuff.

 

A review for very popular zombie book complained about a creepy sex scene. The reviewer wasn’t so bothered by the weirdness, but how she was immediately reminded that the book was written by a guy. Not just any guy, but one who clearly believed foreplay was something chicks made up as a way to screw with men.

 

Here’s a hint, fellas: women do not walk around in a constant state of readiness for sex. We rarely yank down our panties at a moment’s notice and have sex with a random older guy without foreplay. Why would this teen girl behave in such a manner? Oh, because she was a teen girl written by a grown man who knows nothing about teen girls.

 

Everyone has a different reaction to sex scenes. It’s like cussing in that way. Many readers have no issue with the wording in sex scenes. Plus, there are readers who simply skip over sex scenes. Then there are those who are very picky or whose imaginations are too vivid. Those last readers will notice anatomy problems or weird words or inconsistent characterization. Those readers might love everything else in your book, but if you squick them out with your word choices or an awkward sex scene, you could lose their future business.

 

Coming soon…
Why I read negative reviews – Pt. 5: An asshole, a bitch, and a weenie walk into a bar.

Interview with Indie Writer Georgina Anne Taylor

Georgina Anne Taylor is an indie writer who has published a short story compilation, Fairy Tales for Freya, and her first novel, Sorrow's Child. The fantasy writer has several books planned for 2013 including the second in her Taint series plus a dystopian novel.

Let's get to know Georgina...

Q: How long have you been writing and when did you decide to indie publish? What was the biggest hurdle in going it alone?
A: I wrote as a child and then a teenager. Bad poetry and overly dramatic stories. I put it aside. I began again in 2001.

I decided to indie publish in November 2011.

I’d been represented by Lyn Tranter of Australian Literary Management since 2007, and had spent years doing the traditional submission process with the publishing houses via my agent. I’d had a bid on an early draft in The Taint series from Random House Australia in 2007, but declined it on advice. Don’t ask. Not talking about it.

I rewrote. Wrote. Rewrote again. That part was good for me, but I’d come to the conclusion that the submission process was bad for my health. I had another near bid in 2011, but then the bookstores started folding… It was time to go indie. Another rouge writer on the loose. Thanks for listening to my tale of woe!

In terms of hurdles, in as far as possible, I think the product has to be able to stand up beside a traditionally published book. I sought out a developmental editor (book doctor) and then a wonderful copy editor. I also found and commissioned an amazing cover artist for the series.

The other hurdle for indie writers is lack of exposure and proving our worth, but I’m a big believer in passive marketing. In other words, if your book is good enough, people will find it. I do diddlysquat to promote. I even closed my facebook page down due to lack of interest—mine.

Q: In 2012, you published Sorrow's Child, the first book in The Taint series. The sequel, Bewitchments and Betrayals, is expected this year. Can you explain the idea behind the series? Where did the inspiration come from?
A: I started the series story with a premise: fate’s not written. We choose our destinies: we can aspire to be Gods or monsters. The past, or the future, shouldn’t bind us; it’s what happens now that matters. It’s the choices we make at each and every turn.

Lilith begins the tale, grows and changes in Sorrow’s Child, then meets Meng, a winged demigod and beast, in Bewitchments and Betrayals. Both are fighting inner demons, one of them literally. Not sure if that’s a spoiler—and doesn’t it sound like a paranormal romance series? It’s not. More like a gothic, dark fairy tale steeped in myth. The story begins with imps and elementals, spells, poisonous substances, and the making of a hand of glory…

That’ll do.

Q: Lilith is the MC for Sorrow’s Child. Was she a difficult character to create? What do you love most about her? Is there anything that makes you want to bitchslap her?
A: My Witch, Lilith, has been with me since I was a teenager. She’s the girl you wished you could be, when you really needed it. You know that Aerosmith song? “Janie’s Got A Gun?” Well, that’s Lilith. I just had to get her backstory right. That’s where Sorrow’s Child fits in.

Yes, there were times in Sorrow’s Child that I might have harbored an urge to bitchslap her. She takes her time in getting it. She’s too trusting for too long. But you see, I already knew the adult Lilith, so there was no way I was going to say it to her face.

Q: Do you plan to write more in the series? If so, how many books do you envision?
A: The third book: Gods and Monsters, will be released in 2014. That will wrap The Taint series up.

Q: Before Sorrow’s Child, you wrote a short story fairy tale compilation called Fairy Tales for Freya. You're planning a sequel for this book too. Can you explain what it’s about and the inspiration behind it?
A: Fairy Tales for Freya is a collection of four short fairy tales. Ultra short. A little book of death and change. Parables. I wrote them after a very good friend died. And yes it was of a spinal column injury. I’m releasing another nine stories sometime later this year.

Q: You’re working on a dystopian novel called Terra. Can you explain what it’s about and when you expect its publication?
A: Terra is a stand alone, post-climate change dystopia set in water-starved Australia, in an area now known as the Blue Mountains. The main characters are Terra: a young indigenous Australian woman, an Indonesian-Australian waterfinder named Burriin, and his dingoes Yali and Yinggil.

It deals with the issues of water, power, refuge—who gets it, who doesn’t—and the question of the meaning of humanity itself.

It will be released towards the end of the year, 2013.

Q: What drew you to fantasy, fairy tales, and dystopia? Do you plan to branch out to even more genres as your career progresses?
A: As a kid I escaped into myths and dark fairy tales. As a visual artist I’ve always lived in my own imaginary world. Writing’s just another really good excuse to go off on mental excursions of your own making.

I’m planning to explore genres a bit. More stand alones. I have some sci-fi stories in me too. I’m in it for the fun.

Q: You write both short stories and novels. Is the writing process a different beast for each?
A: You know, these are really good questions, Angela. It’s got me thinking. Both need mapping out well before I begin. Short stories can work on simpler concepts though. A single idea I’m exploring. Some short stories take eons to finish. Some novels pour out in a rush. I like to write the shorts in between writing novels, when I’m nutting out the next.

Q: How do you come up with the names for your characters?
A: I am interested in archetypes from myths and legends. For me, names carry meaning: Lilith, Ibur, Esha. The names of my winged demigod twins, Meng and Meabel are Celtic in origin: Meng meaning ‘guile’ and Meabel ‘disgrace’. I like to keep the names short and pronounceable though. Those tongue twisters in the epic fantasy novels always peeve me.

Q: Chicken or the egg question. Do you create a character and build around him/her? Or do you imagine a concept and create characters that fit the idea?
A: They arrive at the same time. Further characters and details come the more I think and work upon it. That’s the easiest part.

Q: How do you avoid writing a Mary or Marty Sue when most writers can’t help falling desperately in love with their creations?
A: I like flawed characters. I see people as horribly complex creatures—too complex for their own good. I try and make my characters echo that. I like writing dark stories though, so perhaps that makes it easier. Mary Sues just wouldn’t last long in any of my imaginary worlds.

Q: Do you use anything to inspire you while you’re writing? Music, visual aids, etc? Also have you found ideas come to you more freely in particular places or at certain times of the day?
A: I charge myself up with visuals: art, movies, and also music while I’m nutting details or mind scenes out before each chapter. I draw sketches of the scenes and specific details I want to capture. I can’t listen to music, or have other major distractions, when I write though.

I write best by reserving consecutive days and starting very early. I’m exhausted by nightfall. It takes it out of me.

Q: When an idea hits you, do you start writing immediately or plot it out first?

A: Plot first. Then plot some more. Then some more again. I chafe at the bit to start, but I’ve learned that charging on ahead leads to plot holes and shallow characters. At least for me.

Q: When you read less than fawning reviews, how do you know when to use the critique to improve your future writing and when do you chalk up the criticism as different strokes for different folks?

A: I listen and correlate information. Any issue repeated is worth noting. I have revised on early reviews. Sometimes it’s a taste thing. But all feedback and all opinions are good and always appreciated.

Q: How big a deal is writer’s block for you and what do you do to shake it off?

A: I experience block when I need time to think about something. I’ve learned not to fight it. I go off and feed my imagination elsewhere while thinking on plot or character, I work it out, and then it flows again. I am, however, very good at hanging out with Little Miss Procrastination. She’s a wicked gal and I love her well.

Q: Do you have a playlist for your books?

A: Yep. For Sorrow’s Child, one song each for three pivotal scenes in the book:

1. “Sorrow’s Child,” from The Good Son by Australian Nick Cave (This song for the hanging scene.)
2. "Coping With Fear,” from Welcome Home Loser by the British band The Broken Family Band. (Love the wild, completely losing it ending—that’s a scene clue.)
3. “Between Two Lungs,” from Lungs by Florence and the Machine. (A liberation.)
4. For Lilith overall: “Living In Sin,” from Welcome Home Loser by The Broken Family Band.

Georgina offers Sorrow’s Child, book one of The Taint series, and Fairy Tales for Freya as free samples of her writing. Find Georgina's books at her website and Amazon.