Why I read negative reviews Pt.3: All aboard! Destination – Whiteytown, Anglo City, and Caucasian Central

The profile picture doesn’t lie. I’m white. Yet I grew up around Los Angeles. Not the LA most people see on TV. You know, with all of the tanned wealthy white people who hang out whining about their fake drama. Occasionally, a token black character arrives, says something black like “jive turkey” or “whazzup” then does a fancy black person handshake before disappearing back into the black part of LA.

In my part of LA, I was in the minority. There were like ten white kids in my high school. Three were nerds (including me), one was a guy who played his guitar in the hallways (sigh), and the rest were stoners. I grew up in a place where you didn’t say "the Asian kid" if you wanted to narrow things down. You had to say Korean, Chinese, Filipino, etc. We had Latinos from Mexico, El Salvador, and Uruguay (Yes, there were jokes, but it was high school). The black kids were American and foreign born (African and Caribbean). So I grew up in a place where the average face wasn’t white and most people sported an accent. If they didn’t have a hint of an accent, their parents did. Mine did too.

Even so, when I wrote my first urban fantasy, I populated the book with only whites. In The Moon Rises, there is a single person of color and she appears only in flashbacks. True, Celeste will show up later in the series. Oh, and no doubt she’ll simply love being the only POC in the whole city.

Why did I write it that way? I have no idea. I blame the books I was reading at the time. Yeah, not my fault at all. Someone else made me do it. See, many of my beloved UF series are filled wall-to-wall with whites. Occasionally, a POC will exist in the background or their race will be so downplayed readers won’t even remember he’s black. I’m thinking of a particular character that shall remain nameless.

There are exceptions - Mercy Thompson, Jane Yellowrock, and Anita Blake are WOC who lead popular series. Sorry if the visual of Anita gave anyone the heebie-jeebies.

So I was writing one white character after another without noticing how large Whiteytown had become. Then I came upon a review about a book I had reasonably enjoyed. This review was by the blog Fangs for the Fantasy. I don’t normally give the specific reviewer a shout out because I don’t want them bothered. Yet Fangs has a great blog and they write amazing reviews.

Anyway, the review was negative for several reasons, but the complaints I zeroed in on were the ones about the lack of diversity. In this particular book, the MC lived in a real world urban area with a diverse population. Yet in the book, everyone was white. Friends, coworkers, love interests, every single person. Possibly, a black guy ran by and did a cool black person wave. Otherwise, it was Caucasian Central.

Suddenly, I saw how white The Moon Rises was. Once again, a negative review alerted me to a failing in my writing. It’s not like I want my readers to only be white. If I want a multicultural audience, why not give them a multicultural cast of characters? It seems obvious now, but like with the name game and cussing, I didn’t see the problem until a negative review sparked something inside my writer’s brain.

I started wondering why THAT character couldn’t be black or THAT character Asian or THAT character Hispanic?

I often find myself wondering what Fangs would think of a book I’m reading or writing. Would they find the characters too white? Too hetero (a blog for another day)? Once I imagined how they might view the worlds I created, I heard this little voice in my head asking if I could create more diversity in my books.

I find inspiration everywhere too. I recently wrote about a Persian family after watching Shahs of Sunset. If you haven’t seen this Bravo show, it’s like one of those Housewives fiascos, but with Persians. If you love drama, lushes, a taste of a different culture, more drama, and a weird obsession with dogs, give the show a try. It’s awesomely awful. Or awfully awesome. Depends on the episode.

Not every writer wants a multicultural cast in their books. They have their reasons and I don’t judge them. For me though, I now actively create worlds that remind me of my old high school. Yet I might have gone on creating one Anglo City after another if not for a negative review opening my eyes.

Normally, I end with a reminder to writers how reviews aren’t for them. They exist for the readers, but writers can find interesting perspectives in them. However, the people behind Fangs for the Fantasy truly hope to change perceptions with their reviews. So I applaud them for both the awakening I received from reading their reviews, plus how they open the minds of other readers.

Coming soon…
Why I read negative reviews – Pt. 4: Her quim quivered, but her pussy just wasn’t feeling it.

Why I read negative reviews - pt. 2: What the fuck is with all the fucking cussing in this fucking book?

Fuck, I love those motherfucking negative reviews. Shit, they’re great because you can fucking learn so much. I especially fucking like reading negative reviews of books I think are the shit. One of my super fucking favorite fucking series is Kate Daniels. Ah, Kate and Curran, let me fucking imagine them fucking.

So I was fucking reading a fucking negative review of Magic Bites where the reader fucking criticized all of the fucking cussing in the fucking book. What fucking cussing was she fucking talking about?

I’ll be fucking honest. I’ve got a bit of a fucking potty mouth. No, I’m not shitting you here, bitches. Now I fucking know when it’s appropriate to fucking cuss and when I should shut my fucking piehole. I don’t walk around cussing at old fucking ladies. I can damn well edit myself if I fucking want to.

This reviewer had other fucking issues with the first Kate book, but it was how she reacted to the fucking cussing that got me fucking thinking. I can’t even remember there being fucking cussing. I’m immune to that fucking shit. Yet I did start wondering about the fucking cussing in my fucking books. Was it all fucking necessary? Would it turn off my fucking readers? Could I fucking minimize or ax all of the fucking cussing without destroying my fucking story? Shit, I thought I fucking could.

Now I understand a fucking writer has a badass vision that they fucking want to see through. Sometimes a character is bound to fucking cuss. I’m writing a guy right now who uses cussing like fucking punctuation. Shit = comma. Fuck = period. Fucking shit = exclamation mark. The asshole can’t be fucking written fucking different because he’s an asshole and assholes like him fucking cuss the way I do in traffic.

Yet I did find other fucking characters who spouted shit when less fucked up things could be said. Hoyt in Desert Flower got the trimming in the fucking cussing department. He said shit too much. He still says shit, but less fucking so. I rewrote Vivi, his gal pal, so she didn’t fucking say fuck. Frigging seems less jarring to certain minds and means the same from a fucking character like her. It’s something a writer needs to fucking consider. Possibly fucking turning off readers vs. the writer’s fucking vision for the characters.

I’ve fucking written Christian fantasy. It’s not fucking impossible to eliminate cussing altogether. It’s simply a fucking choice a fucking writer makes to fucking change their vision. Many fucking writers never would put up with that shit, but this negative review gave me a fucking lot to fucking think about.

Sometimes it’s all about seeing things from a different fucking perspective. I fucking love Kate Daniels. I never fucking noticed the cussing. I think fucking reading another perspective hit me harder because of this. If I had fucking read the same fucking review, but about a piece of shit book, I wouldn’t have fucking cared.

As a fucking author, I must choose between my asscrackingly amazing artistic vision and the fucking needs of my customers. A writer can’t fucking please everyone, but if you’re someone wanting to fucking build a fan base and especially if you’re writing a fucking series, it’d be wise to consider if your fucking choices will fucking turn off your fucking audiences.

I doubt the fucking negative reviewer would have read more of the fucking Kate Daniels series even without all of the fucking cussing. She had other fucking problems that likely would have fucking bothered her for each book. Even if I didn’t have the same fucking visceral reaction as the fucking reviewer, I salute her for mentioning something which made me fucking think.

Now imagine if I wrote the above message without cuss words. Would it have changed the point all that much? Maybe, maybe not. Each writer must find a way to be true to their vision without alienating their potential readers.

Let’s finish with a fucking reminder. Negative reviews aren’t fucking written for fucking writers. Yet they are fucking written by fucking READERS, making their fucking opinions fucking goldmine.

Coming Soon: All aboard! Destinations – Whiteytown, Anglo City, and Caucasian Central

Why I read negative reviews – Part 1: The Name Game

This isn’t about writers reading their negative reviews. Clearly certain writers can’t handle criticism. Even if they won't lose their shit and attack reviewers, some writers can't read a negative review of their “baby” without it crushing their spirits and ruining the fun of writing. If you can handle it though, reading your negative reviews can be informative.

Yet this blog is about what a writer can learn from reading negative reviews of other books. Even those writers who can’t deal with their reviews should give reading negative reviews a try. There’s a lot of great writing advice in those one and two star reviews, much more so than in the positive reviews.
It’s a weird thing about positive reviews. They’re surprisingly difficult to write. I love this book. It’s super great. The characters were awesome. The plot was amazing. I love when all that super great awesome amazing stuff happened. Positive reviews always sound like pure fluff especially if the reviewer doesn’t believe in adding spoilers. It’s tricky to write them and I often just give something five stars and walk away because whatever I write will sound like I’m trying to mate with the book.

On the other hand, negative reviews are often full of details especially if the reviewer just finished the book and is still pissed. When a book makes readers happy, they’ll overlook many of the problems. When a book pisses off readers, they’ll notice every tiny thing and complain about them in their reviews. That’s the gold right there for a writer.

As a writer, I have a particular sickness. I’d like to claim I’ve nipped it in the bud, but I still do it when I’m writing so I have to edit it out later. I call it the Name Game. Until I read a review where the reader complained about characters saying each other’s names constantly, I never realized I suffered from this very sickness. It’s like when I was a kid and my mom tried to teach me multiplication. It sounded like gibberish. Then my new teacher explained it and I understood right away. Sometimes you hear a concept in a different way and it just clicks.

That’s how reading this particular review was for me. I could never see how often my characters said each other’s names. My proofreaders and beta readers missed it too because they weren’t looking for the problem. Once you’re looking though, it really beats you in the face with its obviousness.
I recently edited a book I wrote during the worst of my Name Game fever. In one scene, two male characters are having a conversation on the phone. There’s no one else around, yet they say each other’s names over and over and over again.


Roman: Ethan, what’s going on?

Ethan: Roman, it’s bad.

Roman: How bad is it, Ethan?

Ethan: Damn bad, Roman. Like addictively bad.

Roman: Ethan, talk to me.

Ethan: I am talking to you, Roman. You know how you can tell, Roman? I’m using your name every five seconds, Roman.

I exaggerate only slightly, but it was pretty frigging awful. Yet I never once saw it until I read that review. Suddenly I noticed it everywhere.

I admit I love the name Lila. If I had a daughter, I would have named her Lila. Since I never had a daughter, I named a character Lila. I am clearly obsessed with the name because in every book with Lila in it, character after character says her name even when they couldn’t possibly be talking to anyone else. She’s not a flaky character either, so yelling out her name constantly isn’t necessary to keep her in the conversation. To be fair, Lila has her issues too, saying Roman’s name forty billion times.

I began scouring my books for the Name Game frenzy. In the Moon Rises, Finn was talking to Gigi and used her name TWICE in the same f'ing sentence. I know Gigi's not the brightest bulb, but she's right fucking there. I think she knows you're talking to her, Finn. It was madness, ya hear me!

I might have never noticed this problem, if not for the negative review. While I know negative reviews aren’t written for the benefit of writers, there’s this whiny mentality that says nothing good comes from negative reviews. At least nothing good for writers. That’s simply a lie losers tell themselves to suppress dissent.

In fact, new writers who are still learning their strengths and weaknesses would be wise to read negative reviews especially for books they’ve enjoyed. It's always helpful to get a different perspective.

So I salute the reviewer who was so irritated at a book that she complained about everyone saying each other’s names. She saved me a lot of embarrassment and encouraged me down the road of recovery with my Name Game sickness. I know this wasn't why she wrote the review, but I thank her just the same.

Coming Soon...
Why I read negative reviews – Part 2: What the fuck is with all the fucking cussing in this fucking book?

Review of Mind Games

Mind Games by Carolyn Crane put me through the ringer. On one hand, I wanted to smack the MC Justine and throw the book in the trash. Then I’d read more and want to high five Justine and read the rest of the series. Then Justine would have a brainfart or confront someone she should fear and I’d hate the book again. All over the place with this one.

I loved the premise. Mind Games has no standard UF elements. No vamps, shifters, witches, etc. The world building wasn’t painful to get through either. Big plus.

Plus Justine is a hypochondriac. I thought I would find her whiny. Justine’s problem isn’t her whininess though. It’s her brain. It only works half of the time. Justine is an above decent UF character, suffering from only a few of the UF chick template problems.

UF Girl Checklist:

Mysterious MC with no real friends, family, connections

At the start of the book, Justine has a job, a boyfriend, and casual friends. She existed before the book began!

MC’s power isn’t fully realized in the first book

I’m not sure where Crane plans to take Justine, but her power seems to be her idealism and fluctuating brain power.

Smartass MC without genuine humor, usually a few throwaway lines

Justine isn’t funny. I don’t remember her trying to be funny. Her stupidity was funny sometimes.

Reckless MC often pisses off people who could easily kill her

Okay, here’s Justine's big problem. She'll confront someone who has betrayed her and announce she knows he has betrayed her. Yeah, so if the guy’s a douche who enslaves you, maybe he’s a douche who would kill you for knowing he’s lied to you. Justine never considers this. She’s trusting to the point of being fucking stupid.

An asexual heroine incapable of noticing hot dudes in the room

Oh, hell, no! Justine is horny for three guys! THREE! She has sex with two during the book and almost sex with another one. The girl is so horny that even when facing the guy who is evil, she’s creaming her jeans. When then facing another guy who is evil, she’s thinking about how much chemistry they have. As much as I love a UF girl who wants to get laid, I had an issue with Justine's inability to think clearly around hot guys. Fuck, Justine, pull your vagina under control until you’re out of danger!

A weak love triangle made even weaker by the asexual MC

Well like I said, Justine isn’t asexual. There’s actually a love quad, but one guy never has a shot. I was also irritated by the cheating taking place in the book. It was unnecessary and dirtied my view of Justine. I was pleasantly surprised by the fourth guy in the quad, but the main guy is the reason I nearly didn’t finish the book.

No strong chicks in book besides MC/Only men worthy of admiration

Shelby is a decent female character. So while men run the show, Crane wasn’t afraid to have other women around distracting from Justine.

Unhappy childhood

Of fucking course

Okay, so my two main gripes with this book are Crane’s word choices and Packard.

Let’s start with the word choices. She describes a man’s nose as meaty. This guy is supposed to be hot. She talks about cinnamon eyelashes. Again he’s supposed to be sexy. Later she describes a cock as cucumbery. Yeah, I didn’t need that visual because instead of imagining a big dick, I’m thinking about a salad. Her wording every once in a while would jar me out of the story, usually to make me giggle. At other times, Crane pulled me in with Justine’s descriptive thoughts. I just have to say it one more time – cucumbery cock. Sexy shivers.

Packard sucked ass and I hate him. There, I said it. I’ll admit I’m not a big fan of gingers. Gingers of the world can hate me all they want, but it’s tough to make a guy ginger sexy. The dude’s got to be described as rugged. I hated Jaime Fraser, but at least for a ginger, he was described in a hot way. Not Packard. He’s sporting red curls, pale skin, cinnamon eyelashes, and a meaty nose. Swoon.

Even if he was hot, I’d still hate him. Justine waxes poetic about how amazing Packard is. How powerful, funny, imposing, and sexy. Yet the guy’s a dweeb. His dialogue is weak and he never does anything impressive. True, he spends all of his time in a restaurant, acting like everyone’s douche dad, but hell, he ain’t sexy. Justine also talks about their chemistry. Show it. Please, I’m begging you! Instead Packard stares at Justine a little and says she’ll do a super awesome job and the bitch creams herself. I don’t know what Justine saw in Packard because he was lame.

SPOILER…NOT EVEN KIDDING…GIVES AWAY BIG PLOT POINT…

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Packard tricks her into working for him (forgetting to mention the enslavement part or how her brain will deteriorate without his help). Justine is mad, but not really that mad. After all, he’s so sexy. Yuh-huh. So at one point, she zings Packard and she knows this gives them a connection. He says it doesn’t mean he has any control over her, YET she’s hot for him and wants him even though he’s a douche. Justine never thinks he’s using the connection. Idiot. Packard isn’t sorry for using her either. He put her in danger, but really cares for her. I call bullshit on that.

Then he is playing her even more later and she trusts him enough to say to his face that he’s full of shit and lied to her and is the bad guy. Even after her ridiculously risky speech, he still thinks she’s his pussy and he owns her. When he finds out her pussy belongs to another, he’s pissed and makes threats. Then five seconds later, Justine trusts him again. Then five seconds after that, he’s saying she should pick him because he was nice enough to enslave her and he understands her even though he didn’t understand how she wouldn’t want to be enslaved. Or how she would give her pussy to another.

Yeah, Packard didn’t understand shit, but he’s still in the running? With his lies, enslavement, and meaty nose? How is that frigging possible? All I can think is Crane dated a super hot ginger and Packard is his clone so she can’t see what a loser he is.

Ah, glad to get that off of my chest. Oh, and I hate Packard. I wish he would die. I’d start a petition to kill him too. Otto was really interesting and way sexier and more complicated than Packard. I was beyond pleased when he turned out not to be what Packard said. Death to Sterling Packard! Even his name means douche in a language I created just to make that point.
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I almost didn’t finish the book because of Packard which would have been a shame because it’s a great story. Crane clearly knew where she was going and I only finished because there were hints she wouldn’t play it safe and obvious. The end of the book is perfectly set for the rest of the series.

So if you hate Packard and think you should give up, I feel your pain, but push on, friends. If for nothing else than to read about a character’s cucumbery cock. That is a winner description right there.

Indie Angie Rating - 4 stars****

Indie Writer Tip - Never Spam on GR

Monday's Indie Writer Tip - How to Stay off of Goodreads Shitlists
 

Never ever spam your book. Hell yeah, you want people to know your gem exists. Hell no, you don't shove it down readers' throats. Your spamming is the same as junk mail. No one wants it. Even if a few people go out and buy the book based on the spam, you’ll end up on a ton of DO NOT READ lists on GRs. It simply isn’t worth angering your potential customer pool.

 

Indie writers work so much harder than traditionally published writers. We have no one to market our books. The desire for instant success can drive even the coolest writers to go bananas. Occasionally a writer makes a mistake by spamming and hopes people will give them another chance. The problem is the next indie writer won’t be so obnoxious. The next indie writer will use Goodreads the way it’s meant to be used. The next indie writer will take your customers away and you’ll never get them back.

 

If you’ve already spammed readers (a few writers were added to the shitlists over the weekend), it’s likely too late to regain your goodwill. If you are just starting out or planning to publish one day, avoid making yourself look like a douche by spamming. It might seem like a small inconvenience for GR users to delete the spam, but it’s the principle of the thing. Goodreads is a place for readers, not writers. If you treat it like your personal marketing site, readers will turn their backs on you.

When it comes to success...be patient, be smart, and be cool.