Why I read negative reviews – Part 1: The Name Game

This isn’t about writers reading their negative reviews. Clearly certain writers can’t handle criticism. Even if they won't lose their shit and attack reviewers, some writers can't read a negative review of their “baby” without it crushing their spirits and ruining the fun of writing. If you can handle it though, reading your negative reviews can be informative.

Yet this blog is about what a writer can learn from reading negative reviews of other books. Even those writers who can’t deal with their reviews should give reading negative reviews a try. There’s a lot of great writing advice in those one and two star reviews, much more so than in the positive reviews.
It’s a weird thing about positive reviews. They’re surprisingly difficult to write. I love this book. It’s super great. The characters were awesome. The plot was amazing. I love when all that super great awesome amazing stuff happened. Positive reviews always sound like pure fluff especially if the reviewer doesn’t believe in adding spoilers. It’s tricky to write them and I often just give something five stars and walk away because whatever I write will sound like I’m trying to mate with the book.

On the other hand, negative reviews are often full of details especially if the reviewer just finished the book and is still pissed. When a book makes readers happy, they’ll overlook many of the problems. When a book pisses off readers, they’ll notice every tiny thing and complain about them in their reviews. That’s the gold right there for a writer.

As a writer, I have a particular sickness. I’d like to claim I’ve nipped it in the bud, but I still do it when I’m writing so I have to edit it out later. I call it the Name Game. Until I read a review where the reader complained about characters saying each other’s names constantly, I never realized I suffered from this very sickness. It’s like when I was a kid and my mom tried to teach me multiplication. It sounded like gibberish. Then my new teacher explained it and I understood right away. Sometimes you hear a concept in a different way and it just clicks.

That’s how reading this particular review was for me. I could never see how often my characters said each other’s names. My proofreaders and beta readers missed it too because they weren’t looking for the problem. Once you’re looking though, it really beats you in the face with its obviousness.
I recently edited a book I wrote during the worst of my Name Game fever. In one scene, two male characters are having a conversation on the phone. There’s no one else around, yet they say each other’s names over and over and over again.


Roman: Ethan, what’s going on?

Ethan: Roman, it’s bad.

Roman: How bad is it, Ethan?

Ethan: Damn bad, Roman. Like addictively bad.

Roman: Ethan, talk to me.

Ethan: I am talking to you, Roman. You know how you can tell, Roman? I’m using your name every five seconds, Roman.

I exaggerate only slightly, but it was pretty frigging awful. Yet I never once saw it until I read that review. Suddenly I noticed it everywhere.

I admit I love the name Lila. If I had a daughter, I would have named her Lila. Since I never had a daughter, I named a character Lila. I am clearly obsessed with the name because in every book with Lila in it, character after character says her name even when they couldn’t possibly be talking to anyone else. She’s not a flaky character either, so yelling out her name constantly isn’t necessary to keep her in the conversation. To be fair, Lila has her issues too, saying Roman’s name forty billion times.

I began scouring my books for the Name Game frenzy. In the Moon Rises, Finn was talking to Gigi and used her name TWICE in the same f'ing sentence. I know Gigi's not the brightest bulb, but she's right fucking there. I think she knows you're talking to her, Finn. It was madness, ya hear me!

I might have never noticed this problem, if not for the negative review. While I know negative reviews aren’t written for the benefit of writers, there’s this whiny mentality that says nothing good comes from negative reviews. At least nothing good for writers. That’s simply a lie losers tell themselves to suppress dissent.

In fact, new writers who are still learning their strengths and weaknesses would be wise to read negative reviews especially for books they’ve enjoyed. It's always helpful to get a different perspective.

So I salute the reviewer who was so irritated at a book that she complained about everyone saying each other’s names. She saved me a lot of embarrassment and encouraged me down the road of recovery with my Name Game sickness. I know this wasn't why she wrote the review, but I thank her just the same.

Coming Soon...
Why I read negative reviews – Part 2: What the fuck is with all the fucking cussing in this fucking book?